i originally wanted to title this post “deceased neurons” or “fried brain cells” or something depressing along those lines because rly, right now that’s exactly how i feel.
life itself is hard enough, not to mention the tiring entity is that school – sigh, as much as i love how it provides me with mental stimulation & a relief from the mundane monotony of holiday existence, it can be tiring and taxing and all sorts of emotional-breakdown-causing.
between homework and keeping up with social expectations and trying to save myself from my own messed up mind, idk i think i’ve somewhat lost perspective on how life should be. & what to do, moving on from here. (it’s become a pretty narrowed experience)
but i guess the choice of the word “dormant” implies that my brain isn’t quite a doomed goner yet; it’s not doing so well right now but things might always pick up and get better in the future (& i certainly do hope so!)
the past two weeks of 2017 have been,, simultaneously unreal and sobering. i can’t quite put it into words (as is expected of my naturally ineloquent self)… but it has been admittedly draining and confusing trying to navigate the minutes & hours of a new normal.
esp with between trying to juggle schoolwork & a precarious mental state, i honestly haven’t been left with much time or energy to properly sit myself down & commit to a blog post or something. (case in point; this is the first post i’m actually writing since the new year started)
so yeah – greatly sorry about that ;-; my blog means the world to me & it kills me inside to see it like this.
i don’t mean to indulge in too much negatively & pointless internet moping or pity-mongering either tho :< but idk i just felt like being honest & upfront about it for once.
i try to believe that no matter the situation, you’re never rly quite alone? & writing all this has made that platitude feel a little more real for me, as crazy as that seems.
ahem anyway- in an attempt to justify?? my subpar blogging efforts, here’s the outdated stuff that’s also mentioned in the title of this post!! it’s just some of my recent art endeavours + what i’ve been up to on the creative side of things,, think of it as a slipshod update on part of my life, i guess. leggo’!! –>
making my yearly tradition notebook covers for school!!
fun times YEAHH. designs (as usual) from my fav bbygrl chloe hehe (pls take a look at her blog if you haven’t alr, i can go on & on about how obsessed i am with her aesthetic, seriously.
reworking my vision board!!
i apparently completely forgot to do so last year?? & i had 2015 stuff hanging on it for the whole of 2016,,, but this year is gna be different (obviously), so i made some pretty cool plans & set up an entirely new version.
i’m super happy with it (wow!! rare that i ever say that about my creative creations!! omg) & i’m gna do a blog post about it real soon so look out for that :>
crazy diet choices LOL
from last friday with my friend!! HAHAHA. we literally had zero regrets about eating huge cups of frozen yoghurt (more like slushy milk-water & fruits,,) for lunch & ofc had to take some photos of the parfaits before we started the process of killing our stomachs & devouring them. (i’m laughing internally as i type this)
also, i think i might be a lil addicted to drawing on all my photos HAHA. ya tbh this was done w/ snapchat but idc i still like it a lot :>
looking back on what i’ve written in this post, i think it’s good for me just to doing a lil churning of words & clear my frustrated thoughts out a bit. i don’t expect to feel more creatively inspired or find direction just because of this but it is a relief to have somewhere to feel like myself & acknowledge what i’m going through.
(thanks for being here for me, blog! lol)
it feels rly weird & surprising to be saying this but having typed all this out, i actually feel mentally a little more /restored/ *insert magical sparkles here lolol* and super revved up to write more HAHA (i won’t of course because i think this post is wayy long enough & i don’t want to bore anyone lmao)
hopefully next week i’ll be back with better content – some cute downloads or a photography project??! who knows :ooo /shook/ HAHAH. we’ll see ✨
social media links!! where i post (kind-of) aesthetic photos & ramble about my stupid life lmao.